What's a Jerk?
Understanding Artist Behavior: What's Really Going On
"Artists are jerks" sounds harsh — but it's not the whole story. When artists act dismissive, defensive, or difficult, there's usually something deeper going on. This page unpacks 12 common "jerk behaviors" to reveal the vulnerabilities underneath — and offers compassionate ways to respond.
The goal isn't to excuse bad behavior. It's to understand why it happens so we can all engage more thoughtfully with art and artists.
What They Do
"You just don't get it" dismissals
What's Underneath
Fear of being misunderstood; insecurity about clarity or exposing weakness.
What You Might Say
"I'm genuinely curious — what would make this clearer for me? What part feels most central to you?"
What They Do
Over-explaining with jargon or using theory when someone says "I don't get it"
What's Underneath
Need for credibility; fear being judged superficial; discomfort with emotional aspects.
What You Might Say
"I see there's theory behind this; could you share how you intended people to feel with this work — even a touch?"
What They Do
Cold / aloof stance in critique or avoiding questions
What's Underneath
Past critique-wounds; protective armor; fear of exposure.
What You Might Say
"I appreciate you sharing this work. I want to understand what part meant the most to you — what stakes are at work here?"
What They Do
Bragging or posturing confidence
What's Underneath
Masking self-doubt; trying to repel criticism before it lands.
What You Might Say
"It's obvious you've put a lot into this. What worries you most when people critique it?"
What They Do
Overreacting defensively to even mild critique
What's Underneath
Identity fused with work; critique feels like personal attack.
What You Might Say
"I'm trying to understand — when you hear that feedback, what feels threatening to you?"
What They Do
Mocking or belittling people who don't understand the work
What's Underneath
Distancing/self-protection; avoiding shame by making others wrong.
What You Might Say
"I might see something different; maybe you can help me see what you meant. What parts do you feel people usually miss?"
What They Do
Withdrawing or avoiding sharing / vulnerability
What's Underneath
Exposure feels too risky; fear that visibility = more hurt.
What You Might Say
"Even if it's rough, I value seeing what you're exploring. Would you share something small just to feel out how it lands?"
What They Do
Claiming "true art must be difficult / conceptual / obscure"; saying emotional engagement is not required for value
What's Underneath
Fear that emotion = being seen as unserious or sentimental; wanting legitimacy via concept/form; insecurity about emotional impact.
What You Might Say
"I respect the conceptual depth here. Also, I'm curious what feeling or mood you hoped someone might take away (if any) — what's emotional in this piece for you?"
What They Do
Dismissing spectacle / decorative / general-purpose art (bank/hotel art etc.) as "lesser work"
What's Underneath
Taste/class anxiety; fear of being judged commercial; conflict between visibility & critical legitimacy.
What You Might Say
"I like spectacle / decorative art; what do you see in those works that you think others overlook? What do you value most in art?"
What They Do
Always serious; no humor or humility
What's Underneath
Belief that humor or misstep will be used against them; fear of vulnerability via play.
What You Might Say
"I love when artists joke/let looseness in their work — does this piece have parts you found playful or experiment-y?"
What They Do
Preemptively devaluing their own work ("this is just a sketch," etc.)
What's Underneath
Trying to control criticism; avoid disappointment; protect ego.
What You Might Say
"What part of this work are you most proud of, even if imperfect? I see something strong here."
What They Do
Constant comparing to peers; resenting others' praise/success
What's Underneath
Imposter syndrome; feeling overlooked; belief that success was never possible for them.
What You Might Say
"I see you doing important work. Can we talk about what milestone matters to you, not someone else's yardstick?"